We are all loved by someone...

This blog is being written by request. A long-time reader of mine, in a very timely way might I add, messaged me requesting a special blog regarding his situation. However, as I read his request and made some notes, it dawned on me that his problem is not unique to 25-year-old handicapped virgins. There are plenty of "average" 25-year-old virgins and indeed, plenty of NON-virgins, who are grappling (such a cliche word, but it just came out) with the issue of, "Will it ever happen?"

This person, we'll call him Sawyer, is someone I met randomly on the internet, and with whom I have stayed in contact...going on I think 3 years now. He's very smart, precise and articulate.However, his lack of experience and confidence has unfortunately bestowed upon him an awkward sensibility which experienced girls his age might find slightly... off-putting.

You gotta hone a little suave, here. I've said it a million times... the vibe you're putting out is like a BOOMERANG. There's a lot within your control here, but the entire point of this blog is: it doesn't matter what you do... or don't do... or screw up. There is a person out there, who is attracted to every nuance your DNA conjures up. JUST, PRECISELY as you do things, are their favorite way for things to be done. This person exists. If only because you want it so much...

One thing I have personally witnessed to be TRUE, is that you have to get yourself to a place (a real, true place) where you just don't care anymore. It's an Opening and Closing thing. When you are desperate, on the FRENZY, and analyzing every inflection of a conversation to suit your hopes, there's a haze over your vision, and thus your magnetic field. Vibes make vision, not the other way around! That haze over your vision is like the wrong kind of magnet. Or rather, blinders. When you turn your psychological gaze away from something, in an attempt to move onto something else (because this desperation is driving you CRAZY), it's like those blinders crumble to sand. The "frenzy" feeling instantly puts a blockage in place because it essentially implies doubt. Doubt in the universe, doubt in your own ability to create for yourself, and control that magnetic field.

Not to be confused with aloof, but a certain "I'm not going to want this so much anymore" or better yet, "I'm going to attempt to forget about this", usually results in an overabundance of that which we were wanting. A lyric from one of my favorite Alanis tunes comes to mind from her song, "Thank U"... "The moment I let go of it, was the moment I got more than I could handle". The "letting go" part, is called faith (confidence, courage--whatever you want to call it, it's attractive!).

So with the confidence part handled (because it is the most important), you gotta combine that with a very care-free (read: faithful) attitude to the whole thing. Think about odds. You're going to go through many, many introductions and interactions with those of your attractive gender. Some will be swift in and outs of your life. Some will turn into friends. Some friends will eventually go out. Some will stay. Some might become something more only to be accidentally ruined by that. You might want some to become more, but the other person prefers friends. Some will want you, and never tell you. There are so many dynamics and social ingredients simmering in the pot, and you don't want to eat it when the vegetables are still crunchy. Get it? Once it boils down perfectly (and oh, the universe has such a delicious and natural way of pulling this off without a hitch), it will come together in a way that baffles and pleases you. Trust me on this one.

As for YOU, Sawyer, might I add that I certainly understand your loneliness, and an inability to properly execute the aforementioned because you just CAN'T BE NOT DESPERATE. But just try and try. Eventually you will get comfortable, and she/he will come.

P.S. Sorry this was so late. :)